Thursday, January 24, 2013

6 Months ago...

I honestly can not believe it has been 6 months, since we received the phone call that changed our lives forever.  It was about this exact time too.  I can't sleep tonight, maybe that's why.  So many thoughts and emotions.  Hoping that Julie knows how much we miss her, that a day doesn't go by we don't think of her, that she knows how much we just want to see her, to give her the biggest hug of all and tell her we love her.  We have been blessed with many amazing experiences available to us through, I believe, Julie.  We know she isn't too far away.  As I listened to a song the other day, I realized she IS just a breath away.
We aren't sure if we have even taken the time to thank everyone that has helped us, lifted us, and carried us along even when they have no idea what they have done.  All the meals/food that was brought in, the gifts of memory, the phone calls/messages, the cards, all that love and support is just what we needed and continue to feel. We're thankful for those who take the time to ask, those we get to have tender experiences with in sharing the memories of my mother in law, my childrens wonderful grandma, and my husbands awesome mom.
I wish more than anything I could have fixed it all, could have made her so happy and healthy.  But one of the most amazing blessings of all that this trial has done, is JUST what Julie would have wanted, it has brought our family so much closer.  I feel a love and a bond like never before.  I know she is smiling, so happy now, and so thankful to see the love and support that is given, the tears shed when we're together, the happy times remembered, and the good and happy memories that are continuing to be made...

Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know why
Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme
Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe
Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside
Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe
It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
-Alan Jackson, the words are perfect.

Love you Julie...!

1 comment:

TBird and Mikelle said...

So touching ash. I'm sure she is smiling down on you!