How do you decide?

I remember laying on the bed at the Dr.'s, waiting for the nurse to tell us if our 3rd baby we were having was going to be a boy or a girl. As soon as she said the words, "it's a girl!"....and I actually felt like I could believe her, I had the feeling come over me that having Miss Kinlee come would complete our family. That we were done. All through my pregnancy I felt like I could never do it again, that I wouldn't. It was too hard this time, too miserable. My feelings reassured over and over that a little "pink" would complete us.
Probably since the day we brought Kinlee home peyton has asked numerous times that we PLEASE have another. I told him when he is a dad he can have as many as HE wants. Haha
The begging hasn't stopped even with kinlee being 10, almost 11 months.
Tonight as I'm sitting here watching my little drew cough and cough. Whispering "mommy" and being able to be just the comfort he needs...I can't help but feel an amazing love and passion for something I had always dreamed of. Being a mom. Was the feeling I felt on the bed that day, a simple selfish feeling of what I only thought was complete? Seeing a pregnant mom or hearing a friend or sister is going in to have their baby, and me already secretly wishing that was me going into a delivery room. Will I always miss that? Do I just decide that now? I know I have at least a couple years to decide. But I guess one thing is certain, I'm blessed with a wonderful husband who won't make a permanent decision, who knows that plans change, even if its not on our own schedule.
I love being a mom. I know I wouldn't trade that for the world...